Summary: Spock shows Kirk his favorite childhood Christmas memory with his mother. Kirk has an idea of how to help Spock overcome his grief over her death. FLUFF WARNING! K/S established relationship. SLASH.
Warning: TEH FLUFF KNOWS NO BOUNDS.
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. NuTrek belongs to Abrams, Orci, and Kurtzman.
A/N: I wrote this story for my mom awhile back, and then re-worked it to make it K/S. The event during lil’ Spock’s Christmas is a tradition my mom and I had when I was little. I thought it would work perfectly for Spock and Amanda. Hope you guys enjoy it!
O Christmas Tree
“Spock, that was amazing,” Kirk groaned as he rolled off his bondmate. His gasping breaths gradually subsided as he laid against the Starfleet issued sheets.
“Yes, Jim, I believe it was,” his Vulcan replied after he caught his breath. Spock intertwined his fingers with Kirk’s and they pressed their foreheads together. Jim was proud that he could still affect his mate this way after nearly two years of bonding. He picked up the Vulcan’s wonder and contentment through their link, but Spock’s happiness was always tainted during this time of year.
“I know you still miss her,” Jim said quietly, rubbing gentle circles on his bondmate’s back. “Not even mind-blowing sex with me can take that hurt away.” Spock was grateful for Jim’s attempt at humor, but it was true. When Christmas rolled around, the Vulcan would pine for his mother’s presence more so than usual.
“Although intimate activities with you do help,” Spock amended. “Jim, did you know that I first celebrated Christmas with my mother on Vulcan at the age of five?” Kirk shook his head. He thought he knew most everything about Spock by now, but his Vulcan continued to surprise him.
“No, I thought your mom hadn’t been allowed to practice her Terran customs there, especially since you were being raised in the Vulcan way.” Spock gave him a tiny smile.
“My father had been called away at the time.”
“Ah,” Jim said knowingly. “So your mom took it upon herself to teach her half-human son about one of the best holidays that Earth has to offer.”
“That is essentially correct. Would you like to see my first Christmas with her?” Touched, Jim swallowed hard.
“I’d like that.” Spock melded their minds together and Jim was whisked away into his bondmate’s childhood memory.
“What are you listening to, Mother?” Amanda smiled at the appearance of her young son as he entered the living room. She should’ve known his sensitive ears would’ve picked up on the music.
“Christmas Carols.” Her little boy’s eyebrows flew upward.
“I am not familiar with this concept.” She chuckled at his blank look.
“Well, I think it’s high time you learned. You are half human after all, and Christmas is a very important Terran holiday.”
She went on to explain the true meaning of Christmas, the Christian origins of the holiday, the spirit of Santa Claus, and of course, the exchange of gifts. And then she could hardly leave out the centuries-old traditions of her lesson. Instead of just telling Spock about them, she allowed her son to experience the traditions with her by doing. Amanda had Spock help her bake Christmas cookies (he found the amount of sugar to be highly unhealthy), wrap presents for her family to be delivered later (he didn’t understand the need to waste paper resources), and decorate small pine tree they bought from one of the nearby lots (he actually enjoyed that part.)
At the end of the day, both mother and child were rather exhausted from the festivities. They were content to relax on the living room couch and watch the multi-colored tree lights twinkle in the relative darkness while the carols played on.
“Oh, this one is one of my favorites,” Amanda said wistfully as the song changed to a recording of the Firestone singers rendition of O Christmas Tree. “My mom used to dance with me all around the house to this song when I was little.” Then she got an idea. “Spock, would you want to dance with me? Just for this one song?”
“It seems logical to continue your tradition, Mother,” her son replied, ever stoic. She sighed.
“I don’t want you to do this because you feel like you have to. I want you to dance with me because you feel like you want to!”
“I believe that I want to,” he admitted. “I apologize, Mother. I am not used to directly expressing my emotions.”
“I know,” she assured him, gently picking him up. “You know, I don’t have to tell your father if you don’t want me to.”
“I believe that would be best,” Spock mumbled. “He would find this act detrimental to my training as a Vulcan.” Amanda rolled her eyes.
“Your father can act more like a human more than you realize.”
“I do not believe you,” Spock countered. His mother chuckled, holding her son close as they spun around in time to the music.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
How lovely are your branches,
So green and bright in summertime,
As well as winter's snowy clime,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
How lovely are your branches.
“Will you sing with me, Spock?” Amanda requested. He nodded. Soon his quiet alto joined her resounding soprano in a blending of voices. Eventually, the song came to an end.
“Thank you for indulging me, Spock.”
“I did enjoy it, Mother,” the young Vulcan confessed. “I enjoy any time when I am permitted to be close to you.”
Amanda bit her lip. At times when Spock was brutally honest, it hurt her to know that he wasn’t allowed to embrace his human heritage if he was to become a successful member of Vulcan society. She had a feeling it would be especially hard on her son growing up and having to suppress his deep, heartfelt emotions. The Vulcan technique worked for her husband (most of the time) but she knew very well how humans needed to release or at least discuss their emotions in order to remain in optimal health.
“Spock, I know that I will always be proud of you, no matter what path you take in life. I will always be there to help you when you need it. I only want the very best for you, and my love for you knows no bounds.”
Spock didn’t say anything. Instead, he latched on to his mother more tightly, resting his head on her shoulder. He didn’t have to say a word – Amanda knew. Having married a Vulcan, she knew that actions spoke louder than words.
She had just sat back down on the couch with her son when her own voice came out of the speakers.
“Hello to my darling little Spock. This is your mother speaking.”
Spock looked up in alarm, doing a double take at his mother and noticing that she was silent.
“Mother, what is this transmission?” Amanda was lost in thought, remembering the very day she recorded the transmission at the end of the disc.
“Shh, Spock, just listen.” Wide eyed, he did.
“My name is Amanda and your father’s name is Sarek. My maiden name was Grayson. I used to teach human children on Earth until one day I met your father. We had a wonderful courtship and we ended up falling in love. Seven months later, he asked me to be his bondmate. Of course, I said yes! We were bonded on Vulcan right away and later married on Earth. We made our home together on Vulcan in the capitol city of Shi’Kahr. It wasn’t long before we wanted to have a child together. In a few years, we were blessed with your conception. My parents can’t wait to meet you, Spock! You are our little miracle. We all feel that you will make a valuable addition to our family. Now, Sarek will tell you more about your noble Vulcan heritage.”
The recording stopped, and then started up again, only this time Spock heard his father’s stern, deep voice.
“Greetings, my son. Firstly, I want you to be made aware that your mother was my only logical choice for a mate. You could not have a better mother. I am quite looking upon your birth with much anticipation, as is she-who-is-my-wife. You will be born into the oldest clan on Vulcan, the House of Surak. He was the founder of modern Vulcan philosophy and logic, on which our society is built. As a member of my clan, this influential position will bring you great responsibility and great satisfaction. In addition to that, you will have difficulties as the only half Vulcan, half human to be born to both races. Not everyone understands that someone who looks differently from them is to be valued. However, I shall make myself available to you and mentor you until you are ready to enter the Vulcan Science Academy. I know you will make me proud, Spock, son of Sarek, son of Skonn, son of Solkar.”
Spock looked expectantly at his mother, but again she shushed him, insisting the transmission was not over. And she was right – both Sarek and Amanda had one last message to leave for their son.
We love you Spock and we are very excited about your birth in (static) in 2232. The recording stopped, then started again. “Hahaha Sarek!” Amanda laughed. “In 2232,” Sarek concluded in his most logical voice.
“Now do you believe me?” Amanda’s eyes sparkled as Spock just gaped at her.
“Father sounded somewhat…emotional.”
“Yes,” Amanda giggled. “I had given him a good amount of chocolate that night. However, it is permitted for Vulcans to share their emotions with their bondmates in private. That was what we were doing just then, and your father was making me laugh.”
“I want a bondmate,” Spock said immediately. She smiled.
“When you’re older, you will find one.” Spock stuck out his lower lip just slightly in a Vulcan pout.
“What if I do not? What if no one wishes to bond with me because I am only half-Vulcan?”
“There’s someone out there for you, Spock,” his mother insisted. “I just know it. You are capable of great love. I know. I have seen it. Someday, someone will recognize that about you, and it will not matter to them if you are full Vulcan or not.” Amanda sounded so determined that Spock didn’t question her. They were quiet for a few moments before Spock broke the silence.
“May we celebrate Christmas next year if Father is offworld?” She grinned happily.
“I’d like that, Spock. I’d like that very much.”
Kirk fell out of the meld, gasping hard. His bondmate’s emotions had clamped directly on his heart. Eyes moist, he kissed his bondmate and wept softly.
“Spock, I’m so sorry!” Jim whispered. “I didn’t know anyone could miss someone so much.”
“That is why I repeatedly remind you to be careful on away missions even though it is illogical,” his Vulcan said tightly. “Jim I did not wish to cause you pain. That was not the intent of this exercise.” The human shook his head.
“Spock, you didn’t cause me pain. You shared your pain with me,” Kirk explained patiently. “There’s a difference. And I’m grateful.” For the thousandth time, Jim wished he could’ve met Amanda. So much of his bondmate’s caring heart had to have come from her, as he didn’t often see it in Sarek.
“She would have liked you, Jim.” Spock responded to his thought. “I have no doubt she would’ve considered you to be a most suitable bondmate.” They lay in bed silently for awhile. Then Jim had an idea.
“Computer, access music library files,” he commanded.
“Pull up the Terran selection ‘O Christmas Tree’ and play it in the captain’s quarters.”
“Jim,” Spock protested. “I have not heard that song since my mother’s death.”
“I figured,” said Jim. “Well, I say it’s time you did. It’s a great song, and I doubt your mom would want you not to listen to it on her account.”
Suddenly their quarters was filled with the musical strains of the Christmas Carol.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree How lovely are your branches
“Just one dance,” Jim promised.
“I do not feel like dancing,” Spock said stiffly.
“Please?” Jim begged. “You have to put this behind you somehow. I can’t stand knowing that you’re hurting.”
“Just one dance,” Spock allowed, if it was important to his bondmate.
“I’m not gonna carry you, though.” Jim shuddered as they rose from the bed. “We tried that once and you ended up in Sickbay for a week, remember?”
“I remember,” said Spock, flooding the bond with amusement as he remembered Jim’s failed attempt at carrying him over the threshold. He allowed Jim to pull him into his arms as they swayed to the music. At the song’s end, Jim pressed a soft kiss to his brow.
“Merry Christmas, Spock.”
“Merry Christmas, Jim.”
“If you want,” Jim said tentatively, “we can make this a tradition every year.”
“I would like that,” Spock said softly as he rested his head on Jim’s shoulder. His mother was no longer living, but her greatest dream for Spock, that her son would one day find happiness had come true. It was enough.
A/N: I hope everyone has a happy holiday, a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, and an awesome New Year!